Keep Your Head Up, James Diamond
by Maslover13
Summary: James Diamond has gone from a somebody to a Nobody in a short period of time. His life has spiraled out of control causing him to live in his car as an alcoholic drug addict. He sits in front of the coffee shop every day, earning a dollar and a coffee for his music ability from his loyal customer who he refers to as "Coffee Girl". Will she have the power to turn his life around?
1. Introduction

Life has never been an easy laid back carnival ride.

No, it's been a roller coaster full of twists and turns, a few loops here and there and corkscrews sending my mind spiraling out of control.

But, unlike a roller coaster, I never seemed to escape the loops, the twists and the turns. They appeared harder and more brutal every day. Knocking me down to my all time low.

You should know life is hell.

I used to have it all. Now all I want is to be had.

Money was blown on things I considered "Essential".

Drugs.

Alcohol.

Whores.

Unessential things now...

All I wanted now was to be held. To not worry about where I was going to sleep or what I was going to eat if I was blessed enough to get anything at all.

Everyone knows who I am but no one seems to help.

Day to day I live in the same rut. Mimicking a broken record, living day to day.

I wake up from my slumber, realizing my grand apartment that overlooked the streets of Los Angeles is gone and I'm now reduced to living in my car which I'm barely able to keep.

I then find a place to shower which is usually a quick wash In a sink of a bar bathroom. It's nothing compared to my elegant shower at home...

But it wasn't my home anymore. I had to grasp reality. I wasn't the rich and famous pop star, James Diamond, with my 3 friends anymore.

While they were off touring I was here, barely living.

I was removed from Big Time Rush close to a year ago due to the "essentials" I listed above.

I don't blame them for kicking me out. I wasn't proud to be me anymore.

I live life day to day, sitting out in front of the coffee shop, guitar case open, hoping to receive a little money from my singing and guitar playing.

I was lucky if I got a dollar and fifty cents each day. People in California knew who I was and didn't want to help.

And that honestly hurt.

I would watch the same faces pass day to day.

The old man who walked with a limp, the kid with a thousand questions, the group of teenagers who whispered as they passed, and Coffee Girl.

Coffee Girl was different from the rest. While they rolled their eyes and whispered, Coffee Girl would pass, humming along to the known songs that I would write and play everyday. She'd walk into the establishment and not return to the outside world for about 10 minutes. But, when she did, she always handed me a cup of coffee, throwing a dollar Into my normally empty guitar case.

"I like That song." She would comment as I would finish before quickly exiting my presence and walking briskly down the pavement.

Most of the songs were about her. In a weird way she gave me hope, she gave me something to look forward to. I had a special feeling for her that I hadn't felt to anyone before.

I didn't even know her name. I only referred to her as "Coffee Girl"

The girl who gave me hope.

The girl who changed my life.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 **

I blinked rapidly, opening my eyes and letting the California sunshine fill my vision.

I was hoping to have awaken in my luxurious apartment and be rid of this nightmare that had become my life, but, yet again I woke up stretched out in the backseat of my car.

I groaned, stretching as much as I could. I rubbed my eyes before collecting my guitar and opening the car door, grabbing a shirt and a pair of jeans from my duffle bag that was agape on the floorboard.

I wandered down the street, walking into the bar I usually go to to get dressed and wash up for the day. The bartender knows me by now and usually greets me with a wave and a "Hey, Diamond."

I usually just wave back. I avoid communication with people since everything happened in life. I'm scared of what people will think. What people will say...

I walked Into the bathroom and pulled the wad of money from my jeans pocket. I placed it on the sink, carefully counting what I had saved up for over 3 months.

$120.

Just enough to buy what I had been lacking for the past months...

...I wasn't proud of my addiction, trust me. I wish I could stop and use the money for something I really needed. But my brain and my body told me I needed to feed my drug addiction and I usually ended up buying more and more every time I went to deal.

I changed my clothes, shoving the bills down in my pocket before quickly exiting the bar with my guitar.

I walked briskly down the street, soon reaching the ragged apartment that my drug addiction could be fed from. I beat on the door, looking down the sidewalk to make sure no one I knew was around. I heard the door snap open and the face of Collin, my long time friend, Appear. I was pulled into the door by him quickly as he handed me my usual bag of Heroin in injections and cocaine.

I handed Collin the money before he quickly shoved me out the door. We rarely spoke friendly during deals and it was usually 100% business. I didn't mind though, all I wanted was what I came to buy.

I ran back down the street, trying to make it to the coffee shop before Coffee Girl had already left.

My heart told me I needed to see her. She gave me strength.

I finally made it to the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop and took my guitar out of its case, beginning to strum a new set of chords I had been working on.

Soon enough I heard the bell on the door ring, signaling that someone was exiting the building.

"Well, I'll talk to you later mom...I have to go...okay...bye." I heard a voice say before hanging up a phone.

It was her.

"Here you go, Guitar Boy." She said before handing me the cup of coffee. "It's a little cold out today, make sure you stay warm." She said with a smile as I continued to play the song on my guitar.

She took a seat beside me and I stopped.

"My name's Darcy." She said, extending her hand. I took ahold of it.

"I'm James." I responded with a smile.

Silence fell between us as she played with a strand of her long curly brown hair.

"I, um, I really should get going..." I responded, standing up and taking a sip of my coffee.

"Yeah, I should too..." Darcy said awkwardly.

"I'll see you around?" I asked before packing up my guitar and turning to say goodbye to her.

She was gone, quickly walking down the street, the heels of her boots clicking against the pavement.

I smiled to myself, "Darcy." I silently repeated. "Coffee Girl's name is Darcy."

I hissed at the burning pain as I shoved the syringe filled with heroin into my arm.

I sat in the dark alleyway of the apartment complexes of the downtown LA area.

Police sirens were going off in the streets everywhere, stopping partying drunks.

The only light I had came from a lone street lamp. I pushed the syringe in farther, hissing at the warm sensation again. I made sure every drop was gone before pulling the needle from my arm, I sat back against the wall, beginning to feel

care free...

Light headed...

Not worrying what was going on around me...

I had missed this feeling I had decided, no matter how horrible of a person it makes me.

I didn't care.

I felt my eyes getting heavy and my breathing growing shallow before I remember collapsing to the pavement, nothing but darkness following...


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Are you sure he's gonna be okay?" I heard a voice ask softly.

I blinked my eyes open, staring up at a bright light. The slow and steady beep of the heart monitor made me start to panic.

I started coughing sitting up in bed. I looked around the room realizing I was in the hospital.

"Thank god you're awake." The person whose voice I had heard said. I realized it was Darcy and I hugged her back.

"You're very lucky to have someone like Darcy in your life, Mr. Diamond." The doctor standing in the room began to explain before he walked out.

I looked up at Darcy, "What happened?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"I found you this morning, passed out and practically dead in the Alley beside my apartment building..." She began to explain, grabbing my arm, "Can you explain this to me?" She asked, pointing to the puncture wounds in my skin.

I sighed, running my hand over the bumps and bruises.

"You're an addict, aren't you? That's why you sit out in front of the coffee shop asking for money with your guitar!" She started to yell, "Why? Why would you do that? Use the money for something you need like your house payments or-"

I interrupted her.

"I'd be making house payments if I actually had one." I said, still rubbing the marks.

"You've already paid off your house? Well, then use it for something else you need! Furniture, food-"

I interrupted her again.

"Darcy..."

"Don't 'Darcy' me! I gave you money thinking you needed it but apparently you don't! You just-"

"Darcy, I do need the money..."

"Apparently you don't need it that bad! What's our story, anyway, James?! Or are you going to lie about that?!" She asked, anger raising in her voice.

"I lost my apartment last year, I'm homeless. I was fired from my job as a musician when my manager found out about my drug addiction along with the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic. I have nothing, Darcy, can't you see that? Your money is what helps me through along with your support." I explained.

Darcy's eyes softened.

"James, I, I didn't know you were homeless..." She said, leaning in and touching my hand.

"It's fine. I didn't expect you to." I answered, putting my other hand on top of hers and smiling.

"...I have an extra bedroom in my apartment, and we're friends...I could-"

I cut her off.

"No, Darcy, I can't let you do that. You don't want a person like me in your life." I said, pulling my hand away.

"James, Yes I do." She said, making me look at her, "You can't live on the streets the rest of your life." She said, running a hand through my hair.

I sighed.

"Mr. Diamond? I think we're ready to release you." The doctor said, peering into the room.

Silence filled the space between Darcy and I. I looked into her dark brown eyes.

"When do I move in, roomie?" I asked with a smile as Darcy clapped in excitement, kissing my forehead.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people reviewing and reading this story! It means a lot! Please keep reviewing and sending me any ideas you have for this story! Also if you have a twitter follow me! I'm laughoutloud_13

I picked up a box out of the trunk of my car, opening the lid and peering inside. More clothes. That seemed to be the only thing I owned.

I sighed, gazing up at the large apartment building.

"Come on, slow poke." Darcy said, bumping my shoulder with a box of my belongings. "This is your place too now. You don't have to wait around for me to go in." She added, fishing in her pocket before pulling out a spare key.

"This is yours." She said, handing me the key. I walked up to the door, sticking the key in the lock. I pushed the door open, the smell of cinnamon filling my presence.

I looked around, almost forgetting what it was like to live in a house. A place for your own. I smiled at the thought.

"Mommy! Mommy! You're home!" I heard a tiny voice yell, seeing a little boy run up to Darcy and hugging her legs.

"Hi Danny, How are you sweetie?" She asked.

"I'm fine.." He replied, hiding behind Darcy's legs and looking up at me.

We sat our boxes down as a lady came walking down the stairs.

"Hi mom." Darcy said, "How was Danny today?"

"He was an angel as always." The lady noticed me standing To the side, getting ready to leave to get more boxes.

"Who is this?" She asked, motioning to me.

"This is James, mom. He's moving in here. He's a friend." Darcy explained, touching my arm. I smiled back at her.

"Oh, a 'Friend'.." Her mom said putting air quotes around the word "Friend". I blushed a little at the comment. "Well, Darse, he's a very handsome friend." She added, outstretching her hand, "I'm Lily, it's nice to meet you."

I shook her hand, smiling.

"I'm very lucky to have someone like your daughter in my life." I said, smiling and looking at Darcy.

I looked down to Danny, the little boy. I wondered what the backstory to him was. Darcy was a single 23 year old. How a kid played into her story beats me.

As her mom exited, Danny kept his eyes locked on me.

Darcy smiled down at him, stroking his hair.

"Danny?"

"Yes, mommy?"

"Can you say hi to James? He'll be staying with us for a while." Darcy explained.

Danny hid farther behind her legs, "Hi James..." He mumbled.

"Hi Danny!" I said, bending down to his level, "How old are you?"

I laughed a little as he held up 5 fingers.

"Wow!" I said, sounding enthused.

Danny laughed a little, coming out from hiding.

"How old are you?" He questioned, reaching out to ruffle my hair.

"I'm 23 years old, I'm old aren't I?" I questioned and Darcy laughed a little.

"You're as old as mommy! You guys haven't been kissing have you?" Danny said, making an "Ewww! Gross!" face.

"Danny, why don't you go upstairs for a little while?" Darcy said, pushing the 5 year old up the steps.

"Can James come with me?!" He asked and I couldn't help but smile.

"No, mommy has to talk to James." She answered, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the kitchen.

"When were you gonna tell me you had a kid?" I asked, leaning against the counter.

"When you were gonna tell me you were an addict." She said back, smartly.

"Touché..." I responded, "So what's the story with Danny?" I added, picking up an apple from the bowl on the counter and biting into it, looking disappointed when it didn't break off into my mouth.

Darcy took it from my hand.

"It's a fake apple, genius." She said, trying to hold in her laughter.

"That's stupid..." I trailed off, staring at the bowl. "But, what's the story about Danny?"

"Danny is my son."

"I figured that."

"I had him when I was 18."

"Who's the father?"

"Someone who doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't even come and see Danny. He's always 'Too busy' with work. It was a mistake getting together with him. I thought he loved me and he didn't and Danny is the only good thing that came from that relationship." She said, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"It's alright, Darcy, please don't cry. Whats passed is past. You've gotta move forward."

I paused for a moment.

"I'll be Danny's dad figure. It would help me a lot with my problems." I said as Darcy wiped a few tears from her eyes.

She looked at me, wrapping her arms around my torso in a hug.

"Thank you so much, James." She said as I heard Danny come bounding down the stairs.

"EWWWY!" He said, covering his eyes.

I started laughing, running to him and grabbing a box on the way.

"Danny! Come help me get unpacked!" I yelled from the spare room.

Danny came running in, landing on my bed with a thud.

"But I'm tired, James." He said with puppy dog eyes.

"I am to..." I trailed off. I had forgotten what an actual bed had felt like and just sitting on one was making me sleepy. "Let's nap, then unpack." I added, laying down.

I closed my eyes, starting to fall asleep until I felt a nudge.

I looked down, seeing Danny snuggled into my side, already asleep.

I wrapped my arm around him, Smoothing down his hair before I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Oh my goodness!" I heard a voice say followed by The sound of a picture being snapped.

I rubbed my eyes, noticing that Danny was laying on my chest and was still sound asleep, cuddled into me.

I laughed a little looking up at Darcy.

"That is the most adorable thing I've ever seen!" She said, taking the Polaroid picture she had snapped and waited for it to develop.

I carefully picked up Danny from my chest, laying him beside me on the bed.

He didn't wake up, only rustling a little in the sheets.

I walked over to Darcy, peering over her shoulder at the picture.

I smiled to myself and she smiled too, looking at the picture of Danny and I sound asleep.

"James, he's NEVER warmed up to someone before as fast as he has to you." Darcy said, exiting the room with the picture. "Im going to put this in his room." She added, crossing the hall.

I stretched, yawning and fixing my messy hair.

I walked over to a tiny cardboard box, beginning to unpack my things.

I opened the tiny box on top of the larger ones first, looking inside.

...My drugs...

I closed the box quickly and shoved it into the top of the closet.

I had told Darcy that I threw them all out, but, who was I kidding? I couldn't quit my addiction as easy as that...

And honestly, I wanted the contents of that box now more than anything...

I grabbed the box, bolting for the bathroom.

I quickly Locked the door, hearing Darcy's voice.

"James? Are you okay?" She asked through the door.

"Yeah..." I lied, "I'm gonna take a shower, is that okay?"

It wasn't a Total lie. I planned on getting in the shower after I was done getting my fix...

"It's your shower too. You don't have to ask permission to use it." Darcy laughed and I heard her footsteps leave the closed door.

I looked at the white powder.

Why did I want to do this?

I made a promise to a person I loved that I wouldn't do this anymore to myself...

I closed the box up. I could do this. I could be strong. I could quit.

I turned on the hot water, stripping down and getting in the shower.

The water felt amazing on my skin and I didn't want to get out of the warm mist.

I finally decided to shut the water off, getting out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist.

"Shit..." I mumbled under my breath when I realized I forgot my clothes in the other room.

I grabbed the small box from the Counter, running back to my room.

I placed the box in the closet on a shelf and began to dig through boxes for a shirt and some sweatpants.

"Hey James, since..." Darcy trailed off, freezing in the doorway.

I realized I still only had the towel wrapped around me and I began to dig for clothes faster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't, um, know...that...Uhh...wow..." She said, staring at me.

I blushed a little.

"Um...Danny doesn't look like he's sleeping in his own room tonight." I said, trying to break the awkward and pointing to Danny Laying on my bed.

"I know..." Darcy said, looking at him, "You, you can sleep with me of you want..."She said, looking to the ground.

I smiled, "Sounds like a plan."


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

"Here, this is my room." Darcy said, opening the door in front of us.

I followed her into the room sitting on the bed.

She grabbed some clothes before walking back past me and out of the room. Her hand brushed across my leg and I tensed up as she left.

I fanned at my face. It was so hot in the apartment. I thought about taking my shirt off but I know it would be awkward for both Darcy and I.

I laid down on the bed, fanning my face some more.

"Screw this." I said, standing up and pulling my shirt off over my head.

I heard Darcy's footsteps stop in the doorway and I looked up, seeing her in a tank top and a pair if shorts.

"Its so hot in here. I have to sleep without a shirt or I'm going to die." I laughed, tossing it to the side of the room.

"Well, if you get to do that then so do I." She responded, pulling her tank top off over her head, leaving her in her bra and shorts.

I felt a tingling in my stomach. She looked so beautiful.

"Fine. I can live with that." I said, climbing into bed.

I pulled the sheets over me, laying on my stomach.

I felt her fingers slightly drift over my side as she Slid into bed. My body shuddered at the feeling.

Was it love?

I'm 99.9% sure it was.

I was in love and I didn't know how to deal with it.

I closed my eyes for a moment, opening them to see Darcy facing the wall, her back to me. She was lightly breathing and I scooted myself closer to her.

She groaned, rustling in the sheets. I flipped over, laying on my back and staring up at the ceiling.

I felt body heat close to me, looking down and seeing Darcy's head laying on my chest.

She was smiling, lightly snoring.

She snuggled into my side even more, falling fast asleep.

I wrapped my arms around her, gazing at her while stroking her hair.

I kissed her forehead lightly before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I woke up to the smell of bacon cooked downstairs.

I rolled out of bed, rubbing my eyes and stretching before walking over to the mirror.

I noticed a note taped to the glass and ripped it off, reading what it said:

Hey snuggle buddy;)

I went to work and took Danny to my mom's.

Didn't want to wake you, you looked to peaceful.;)

I made you breakfast, it's waiting for you downstairs.

I'll be home around 4.

Enjoy your day.

- Darcy

I smiled at the note, walking downstairs to the kitchen where a plate of food was waiting for me.

I smiled again, taking a piece of bacon.

Life was becoming amazing.

I was starting to love it.

I walked back upstairs, beginning to unpack again. I grabbed some clothes, starting to hang them up in my closet.

I saw the box again...

The box in the top of the closet...

No. I could do this. I could quit.

Or could I?

I bit my lip, thinking.

One last time wouldn't hurt would it?...

"One last time wouldn't hurt..." I said to myself, grabbing the box.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

(I know this chapter is short but I won't be updating this weekend so I thought I'd leave you with this:) )

"James! I'm home!" Darcy's voice called from downstairs.

I panicked, looking at the substances I had laid out on the bathroom counter.

I quickly began inhaling the white powder, feeling an immediate reaction.

I felt full of energy. Like I could do anything.

"James? Where are you?" Darcy asked again and I could hear her footsteps on the stairs.

I finished off the last bit of powder before throwing the box and bags away.

"HI DARCY!" I said, flinging open the door.

"...Hi? James, are you okay?" She asked, looking at me.

"Fine? Of course I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be fine?! I'm perfect! Happy! WONDERFUL!" I said, bursting with energy and feeling my heart begin to race.

"James, calm down." Darcy said, holding my shoulders.

"I just...feel like I could do anything! I BET I COULD FLY IF I TRIED!" I said, starting to hallucinate and running to the window, opening it.

"JAMES! What the hell?! No!" She yelled, pulling me from the window and closing it, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She asked, grabbing my shoulders.

I started to feel a pain in my chest, my heart racing faster.

Darcy looked into my eyes.

"James, did you..." She trailed off, "No, you promised me you wouldn't." She added, Letting go of my shoulders and beginning to walk away.

Danny came running upstairs.

"DANNY!" I said, excitedly.

"Jamie! You're so full of energy tonight! LET'S PLAY!" Danny said, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his room.

I felt the pains in my chest getting more and more painful and frequent.

It was probably nothing.

I leaned against the doorway, my vision starting to double.

I grabbed my chest, feeling the pain growing more.

Suddenly, I felt myself collapse. I grabbed my chest, yelling in pain.

"James? James! Get up, James! MOMMY!" Danny yelled, kneeling down beside me.

The pain was unreal and my vision was blurring in and out. I kept ahold of my chest, praying the pain would go away.

Why did I have to do it? Why did I have to get high one last time?

Because I'm an idiot.

My vision was blurring more and more. I remember Darcy standing over me, frantically calling 911.

"James, please don't close your eyes. Please stay with me." I heard her repeat numerous times.

I grasped onto her free hand, squeezing it. I felt hit tears stream from her face, hitting my shirt and my hand.

"James, please don't close your eyes." She said through her tears.

I felt my eyelids getting heavy but I desperately tried to keep them open.

It was no use and I felt them slowly closing, blocking my view from the world and everything started to fade away.

I remember my grasp on Darcy's hand slowly growing weak as she started crying harder.

"James, please stay with me. The paramedics are almost here. Please." She kept repeating as my eyes closed shut.

"No! James! Wake up. Please wake up! Don't leave me!" I heard her say before everything went dark.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

(This is going to be an extremely short little filler chapter! Longer chapters will come next week!)

"I never even got to tell you I loved you. But I do, James...I really do..." I could hear Darcy's voice say through her tears.

My body felt weak and I was unable to move. I felt Darcy's fingers intertwine with mine as i felt her lean her head against the bed rail.

I tried to open my eyes, nothing. It was to much.

I needed to tell her I could hear her.

I thought hard, giving almost all the energy I had to slowly clasp my hand around hers.

I heard her begin to cry harder and I worked up enough energy to speak a little.

"D-D-Darcy...I'm...okay...just...weak..." I said with a groan.

I was in pain.

My chest hurt terribly bad and apparently I had done some damage to my heart, causing damage to other organs in my body.

"James, why? Why did you do it?" Darcy asked me through her tears and I felt guilty.

"...I'm...stupid...thats...why..." I finally finished saying, gripping her hand tighter.

"James, you're not stupid. But...I wanted to tell you...I...um...I-"

Her sentence was cut short due to the beeping of one of the machines as a sharp pain shot through my body.

I groaned at the horrible pain.

I could hear Darcy crying more.

"Darcy..." I started to say.

"Yes?"

"I-I-I...Love...y-y-you." I said, rubbing her hand slowly with my thumb.

I could sense her starting to cry even harder.

"I love you too, James." She said and I could sense her smiling.

I heard the sound of feet entering the room, "Jays?..." I heard a tiny voice ask and I knew immediately by the nickname who it was.

It was Danny.

"...Hey...Buddy..." I slowly said, trying my best to smile and motion for him come sit on the bed.

"Jays? Please don't leave." He said and I could feel my face getting hot as tears trickled down my cheeks. "I would miss you. Please wake up when you go to sleep." He added, snuggling into me.

"I'll...I'll try...buddy..." I said, touching his hair as he nuzzled into my side.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Danny?"

"Is Jays my new daddy?..."

I smiled a little at the thought as I heard Darcy laugh.

"Possibly, Danny, possibly." She said, gripping my hand again.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

(Please keep commenting! I love to read them!:) enjoy!)

I blinked awake, staring up at the bright light above my bed in the hospital room.

"James! You're fully awake!" Darcy said with excitement, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "How do you feel?" She added, gripping my hand again.

"Fine." I answered, my voice still weak, "Where's Danny?"

"He went down to the cafeteria to get some water for me and him. I didn't know how long it would be until you woke up. My friend Stephanie is coming to pick him up soon." She explained, fixing my hair.

I nodded in approval as silence filled the room.

"Darcy?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, last night, when I told you I loved you?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

"Yes..?" She answered, almost scared.

"Darcy, I really meant that. I have feelings for you that I haven't had for someone before. It's, it's strange in a way." I explained and she smiled.

"James, I really love you too. You're an amazing person. You still have some rough patches to work out but we can do that together." She explained and I smiled.

Silence fell between us before a question was asked.

"So, um...does this mean?..." I asked, looking into her eyes.

"I don't know, you tell me." She said, leaning in.

Her lips crashed into mine, sending an amazing feeling through my body. It was a feeling I had never felt before.

I'm not gonna lie, when I had money, I had girls, anytime, anywhere.

But, even though I had told them I loved them the morning after, it just never felt true.

Darcy pulled away from the kiss, looking into my eyes.

I smirked at her, "Just wait until I'm back to normal."

"Diamond, you've got a lot to learn about me." Darcy said, running her hand through my hair. "I'm not like the whores you bought for your personal pleasure." She said, smirking back at me.

I rolled my eyes.

Sure, whatever. All I had to do was turn on my James Diamond charm. I could get any girl I wanted.

Soon, I heard footsteps entering the room, seeing a blonde come into view.

Wow. SHE was beautiful.

No. James you love Darcy! Don't let your hormones ruin what you two have.

"Hey Darce, I'm here to pick up Danny." She said and I assumed it was Stephanie.

Danny came running in, "Hi Stephanie!" He said, cheerfully as she picked him up.

"You ready to go have fun today?" Stephanie asked him and I caught her staring at me.

Danny looked to me, outstretching his arms, "No..."

"Why not, buddy?" She asked, shifting his weight.

"...I don't want to leave my best friend..." He said, starting to cry and reaching farther to me.

I took him from Stephanie, sitting him beside me on the bed, "Buddy, I'll be okay. I'll still be here when you get back." I explained.

"But, but what if your not? What if what happened at home happens here?" He said, starting to cry harder.

I wrapped him in a hug, "Buddy, it won't, okay? I'm fine." I said and I could feel him crying.

I hushed him until he stopped crying, handing him back to Stephanie.

"Ive never seen Danny be so attached to someone." Stephanie said, "I think he's a keeper, Darcy."

I smiled at them.

"I think so to." Darcy said with a smile.

I was feeling stronger by the end of the day and was released to go home.

"I had never been so happy to be back in the apartment." I thought to myself as I walked upstairs and collapsed in my own bed.

Darcy entered the room, "Feeling okay?" She asked as I sat up.

"Yeah, a lot better than what I did." I explained, scooting closer to her and keeping my lips inches from her. "How long will Danny be gone?" I asked, snaking my arms around her waist as we stood up.

"James, I'm not the type of girl you think I am, I'm just telling you right now. So don't get excited." Darcy said sternly but still smiled.

I slowly worked our way into her bedroom, her arms around my neck, mine around her waist.

I backed us up against the bed, kissing her passionately as we fell onto the sheets.

"Remember what I said, Diamond." She said in between kisses.

I nodded, not paying attention.

I moved my hands down to the back of her thighs, still kissing her.

I slowly inched my hands upward.

"James." She said sternly but

Continued to kiss me.

I didn't listen, getting wrapped up in the moment and inching my hands more.

"James, no." She said again and I could tell she was getting angry but I didn't listen, inching my hands closer and closer to her ass before planting them there.

"James. You're moving to far, stop. I'm not ready for this."

I just nodded, still kissing her before moving one of my hands up and under her shirt.

"JAMES! Stop it!"

I didn't listen, trying to pull the shirt up over her head when suddenly...

SMACK!

"Ow!" I screamed out in pain before grabbing my face. I was sure the slap left a handprint.

"I told you you were moving to fast! I told you I'm not some whore that you can have a one night stand with!" She said, obviously angry.

She told me to leave the room, calling me a douche bag on the way out.

Which pissed me off more than anything.

"FINE! If YOU'RE not some whore I guess I'll just go find one!" I said, extremely angry as I grabbed my jacket and my phone before stomping angrily out the front door.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

(I love the love I'm getting from this story! Thank you all! Keep reviewing! :) I also have created a playlist for this story, almost like the soundtrack to it...when do you guys want me to post that? Next or at the End of the story?)

"James? What are you doing here?" Stephanie, Darcy's friend, said to me as she started to unlock the door.

I sat on the front steps, watching my breath in the cold air as I looked up to her.

I had found the slip of paper that Darcy had given me with all the numbers and addresses of people I could trust and Stephanie was the first one on the list.

"I screwed up..." I said, feeling guilty for trying to use Darcy.

"Here," She said as she outstretched her hand, "Come inside, let's talk."

I followed Stephanie inside, looking around at her house.

"Did you take Danny home?" I questioned.

"Yeah, thats where I came from. Do you want anything?" She offered, opening up the cabinet and getting out a tea bag for herself.

"No, I'm fine, thanks..." I said, taking a seat at the counter in the middle of her kitchen.

I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she really was.

No. James. You've already screwed up once, don't do it again.

"Stephanie, I tried to take it to far tonight with Darcy and now she hates me." I explained, putting my head in my hands, "I'm such an idiot."

"James, you're not an idiot." She said, sitting beside me and rubbing my back.

I felt a tingle go through my body at her touch.

"Darcy is just...very guarded since she had Danny..." Stephanie started to trail off, making me think there was more to the story than what I was being told.

"...I told her if she wasn't going to be my whore if have to go find someone who would..." I explained, ashamed.

I felt Stephanie's hand snake up to my hair and she ran her hand through it.

"Well...is the spot still open?" She asked, seductively and I quickly looked at her as she inched closer to me, messing up my hair.

"Stephanie, you're Darcy's best friend...I can't..." I said as she inched herself as close as possible to me.

"Who said Darcy has to know?" She said before kissing me on the lips. I stood up, deepening the kiss.

I couldn't help it. I had wanted this for such a long time.

I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her

to the first bedroom I could find, kicking the door shut before dropping Stephanie on the bed.

"...That was amazing." I panted, laying beside Stephanie as I intertwined our fingers.

"YOURE amazing." She said, kissing me and laying her head on my chest.

I was sweaty, tired and out of breath and was slowly starting to fall asleep...

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A loud beating came from the front door followed by a voice.

"STEF! It's Darcy!" And we both sat up in bed.

"Oh god, it's Darcy!" I whisper yelled.

"You've gotta get out of here!" Stephanie said as we both jumped up out of bed, wrapping sheets around us as clothes because there was no time to change.

"How?!"

"Just...here! Stay quiet!" Stephanie ordered, shoving me in the closet with the door cracked a little.

I could see through the crack a full view of the door as Stephanie opened it.

"Darcy! Hi!"

"Stef...where are your clothes? Why are you wrapped in a sheet?..."

"Drying. I spilled something all over them.." She lied.

"Oh, well...have you heard from James or anything?..." Darcy questioned and I noticed she was holding Danny who was crying.

"He told me he'd still be here when I got home and he's gone..." Danny said, nuzzling into Darcy's neck.

My heart completely sank.

God, I was a douche bag...

"I haven't seen him...I'm sorry...he'll show up sometime." Stephanie lied again before saying her goodbyes to Darcy.

Stephanie ran to the closet, flinging open the door.

"That was close..." I said, relieved that the moment was over.

"I know." She replied, taking my hand and smirking.

"Now where were we?" She asked as we laughed, running upstairs.

"I thought you'd never ask." I said, shutting the door to the bedroom.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I woke up to the sun shining in on my face. It was warm and welcoming and I stretched, yawning.

I looked down, seeing Stephanie laying on my chest, tangled up in the sheets.

I ran my hand through my hair, starting to feel guilty about what I did. But...I was a guy...I had needs, right?

I kissed Stephanie on the head, moving her from my chest slowly so I wouldn't wake her.

I stood up, searching for my clothes on the floor and hearing her rustling in the sheets.

I finally found my clothes, pulling them on and lightly walking out the door, being sure not to wake Stephanie.

I wandered down the street, my hands in my pockets.

The California sun shone down on me, brightening my mood and warming me up considering it had been slightly cold these last few days.

I passed the coffee shop, a million memories flooding my head.

Memories of Darcy, Memories of Kendall, Carlos and Logan abandoning me, Memories of hurt...

Memories of suffering.

My drunken nights flooded my memory as I passed the many dirty alleyways, remembering all the nights I had called them home.

I was so lucky to have Darcy and this is what I do to her in return.

I started thinking to myself, feeling more guilty than ever.

Danny came back to my memory, and how much he loved me.

James, he called you his best friend, for crying out loud, and what did you do in return?

Oh, Thats right, you left.

I loved Darcy, I knew I did. Life had just been thrown so far into a spiral that it was hard to grasp the feeling of love anymore.

I knew it was there, I just didn't know how to trust it.

But now I realized that I needed to or I would be back in the depths of hell that I used to call my life.

I began sprinting down the street, pushing past people on the sidewalk. I needed to hold Darcy, to tell her how sorry I was.

I truly was sorry. I had never been so sorry about something in my entire life.

But a part of me, an evil part, said that I wanted to go back to Stephanie. To get what I wanted.

I tried to push that part of me into the shadows, ignore it.

I finally made it to the apartment and I began to panic, seeing that the door had been kicked in.

I started breathing heavily.

"DANNY?! DARCY?!" I called.

No answer.

"DARCY?!" I called again, hearing a soft crying sound coming from the kitchen.

I ran to the doorway, seeing her sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinets, her head in her hands.

"Darcy?" I questioned, running to her side.

"Get away from me!" She said, angrily. Shoving my shoulder away.

She looked up at me and I noticed the bruise on her eye.

"Darcy! What the hell happened?!" I asked, trying to help her.

"Why the hell do you care?! You left me and I needed you! I feel like just kicking you back out into the street." She responded and I felt a pain inside of me.

Her words stung, tearing me apart bit by bit.

"Darcy, I'm sorry. I screwed up. It won't happen again, just...please tell me what happened." I explained as she started crying harder.

She jumped up, nuzzling into me and let her tears fall.

"James, he took Danny."

I felt my heart sink, "Who took Danny?"

"Ke-I mean, his dad..." Darcy started to trail off.

"...I'm gonna kill him. Where does his dad live? I'm going to get Danny. This ass isn't going to get away with hurting you." I stated, grabbing my car keys and starting to head out the door.

"James, no!" Darcy said, grabbing my arm and trying to pull me back.

"Darcy, what's the big deal that I not know who his dad is?! I deserve to know! I'm his dad now!" I demanded an answer, getting angry.

"Because, James! You'll be angry!"

"No I won't! Just tell me so I can go kill this jerk!" I said, facing Darcy.

"James, it doesn't matter! It was all an accident!" She pleaded, trying to calm me down.

"JUST TELL ME!" I demanded, grabbing her shoulders.

"Fine, James! It's Kendall!" Darcy said, crying as I slowly let go of her shoulders in disbelief.

"What, Darcy?..."


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"How? How is this even possible?" I asked, Pacing back and forth.

"I told you, James, it was an accident." Darcy replied, "I went to the San Diego show last year. I met Kendall after it. I fell in love. I thought he did to...we started talking...and dating...then...well, you can finish the story. Anyway, Danny was the only good thing that came out of all of that..." She started to trail off, seeming to get lost in her thoughts.

I stood in silence, still pacing.

Words couldn't describe how pissed of I was.

"James, I know he's your best frie-"

"That douche bag isn't my friend." I said coldly, "Carlos and Logan aren't either."

I grabbed my keys, angrily stomping down the hall.

"James please don't! You could get hurt!" Darcy said, latching onto my arm.

"Darcy, let go!" I demanded, pushing her off and storming out the door to my car.

I was going to get Danny back no matter what and I sped off to The Palmwoods where Kendall, Logan as Carlos were still living.

Thoughts came back to me. Memories.

Memories of how Kendall was the reason my dreams had been crushed.

He was the reason I was fired.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, feeling the car accelerate with my anger.

I soon reached the Palmwoods, getting out of my car and slamming the door.

I could feel the shocked looks from the future famous as I walked through the lobby and to the elevator.

Whispers of "I though he was fired." and "Why is James back?" were overheard as I stepped into the elevator.

I arrived at apartment 2J, not even bothering to knock on the door before flinging it open.

"Jays!" I heard Danny's voice say excitedly as he ran to me.

"Hey, buddy!" I said, bending down to pick him up. I held him tightly, not wanting to let go and I felt a few stray tears run down my face.

"I told mommy you would come back..." He said as I hugged him tighter.

"I'm sorry I left, Danny, you know I love you and mommy a lot, right?" I questioned, pulling him away from my body.

He nodded as Kendall entered.

"Danny, go wait in the car." I ordered as I set him down and he ran out the apartment door.

"What are you doing here, James? You're not apart of our family anymore." Kendall said, walking closer to me.

I began walking toward him, "I came to get my son."

"Your son? He's my son, and he always will be." Kendall responded, getting up in my face.

"Do me a favor, Knight, stay out of Darcy' life. She doesn't need you anymore." I shoved him back, obviously making him angry.

"Darcy? You know Darcy? Please tell me you're not together." Kendall asked, getting in my face again.

"We are Kendall, and we're happy so do yourself and everyone else a favor and keep out." I said, pushing him back even harder before starting to walk out the door.

"Whatever, Diamond, just go back to snorting your cocaine. We all know you're a professional at that." Kendall smirked, crossing his arms.

I felt my hands ball into fists at his comment.

It sent me over the edge.

"Listen here, douche bag. You don't know what my life is or how I'm living it so shut the hell up." I said, throwing my fist to the air. Kendall ducked, missing my fist.

Suddenly I felt his fist collide with my face and I could taste blood in my mouth.

I glared at him, touching the blood that was slowly escaping from my lip.

I threw my fist back at him, watching him hold his head and tumble to the ground.

"Stay away from my family." I stated, stepping over him and walking out.

I quickly made it to the car, making sure Danny was strapped in safely before speeding out of the parking lot and down the road.

We made it to the house quickly and Danny ran ahead of me, pushing the door open and running inside.

"See, mommy! I told you he'd be back!" Danny said, running to hug my legs.

Darcy looked at me, noticing my busted lip and partially black eye.

"James! What happened?!" She asked, jumping up from her seat on the couch and running to my side, helping me up stairs.

"I just got into a little fight is all..." I said, trying to hide the pain I was feeling.

I went into the bathroom with Darcy, sitting up on the counter as she started to wipe the blood from my face with a washcloth.

The water stung my wound but looking at Darcy's smile made it better.

I was happy with life.

As she finished doctoring me I stood up, walking to my room.

"I think I'm going to bed. It's been a long day..." I said, yawning as I opened my door t my room.

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Can, can you sleep with me tonight?...I, I missed you being here last night..." Darcy said, looking to her feet.

I smiled, walking up and kissing her.

"Of course." I said, grabbing her hand as we walked into her room to cuddle before we both fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

*A few announcements! 1.) This chapter will be really short :-/ sorry! 2.) I hope you guys are liking this, please review! I love hearing from you! And 3.) Just wanted to share the fact with everyone that I was at a football game tonight and I'm just now getting feeling back in my fingers from the cold :P IT'S FALL! STAY WARM. Okay...enough with my random rant about the season...on with the story!*

"Darcy, Why do you have to leave?" I asked as I followed her like a puppy around the house as she gathered some clothes.

"Because, my mom wants to see Danny and all my family is in...You're technically a part of the family, James, you can come if you want." Darcy said, throwing some clothes in her suitcase that was Laying on the couch.

"Eh..." I started, "I'd feel awkward..."

"Okay, but don't say I didn't invite you." She laughed, playfully punching my arm.

I heard Darcy's phone begin to ring as she pulled it out of her pocket, answering it.

"Hey Stef...What?...O-okay...I'll be right over...alright...okay...bye." She said, hanging up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little concerned.

"I don't know, Stephanie's really sick, she wants me to bring her some medicine." Darcy explained, grabbing her purse and giving me a kiss on the cheek before exiting.

I sat down on the couch, flipping the TV on and wondering what was wrong with Stephanie.

Danny came running in, flipping over the couch and landing on my lap.

"Hi Jays." He giggled.

I smiled down at him, tickling him.

"Where's mommy?" He asked, sitting up and starting to play with my hair.

"She went to check on Stephanie. She's not feeling good."

"Oh, Okay..." He said, grabbing the remote from my hand and turning on cartoons.

"James?"

"Yes?"

"How did you meet mommy?"

"It's a complicated story, buddy..." I explained, patting his head.

"Did you know she helps sick people?" He asked.

"...She's a doctor?" I asked, not knowing how successful Darcy was.

No wonder she wanted to take me in. She wanted to help me.

"Yeah! She's always having to leave and help people. But she always makes them better." Danny said, snuggling into My side and concentrating on the television.

I heard the front door lock turn and Darcy walked in.

She sighed and looked at us.

"How was she?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the TV.

"She's fine. I think it's just something that she ate." Darcy explained, setting her bag down on the kitchen table. "Danny, are you packed and ready to go to Grams'?"

Danny nodded, "Jays, are you coming with us?"

I sighed, "I'm gonna have to miss out this time, Danny, sorry."

He hung his head replying with an "Okay."

Darcy looked down at her watch, "Danny, go get your stuff, we're going to be late."

I followed the 5 year old upstairs to help him carry his suitcase to the car.

I gave Darcy a hug and a kiss as we reached the car, handing her one of my old T-Shirts.

She held it close to her heart then pulled it up to her face, inhaling.

She smiled, "It smells like you." She said, giving me another hug.

"Try not to miss me to much, okay? Relax and have fun." I said, helping them into the car then closing the door.

I watched Danny wave the entire way down the road until the car was out of my view.

I smiled at the thought of them.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

I pulled the device from my pocket, noticing it was Stephanie's number.

"Hello?" I answered.

"James?" Her weak voice questioned.

"Yea?"

"I need you to come over here ASAP...it's important... "


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"No..." I said, running my hands through my hair and pacing back and forth in Stephanie's kitchen as she sat at the counter with her head in her hands.

"No, no, no, no." I kept repeating, not wanting to believe what I had just heard.

"James, this is happening and there's nothing we can do about it now..." Stephanie said, trying to calm me down.

I stopped pacing, groaning.

"Darcy can't find out." I finally said, looking at her.

"James, She's my best friend! She's going to realize when I start gaining weight that something's up. Plus she doubles as my doctor, what am I going to say when I go to get an ultrasound?" She asked, looking at me.

Silence filled the space between us.

"I'm pregnant, James. Just accept it. Nothing can change now." Stephanie said, standing up next to me.

I shook my head, "This isn't happening. I'm dreaming."

"James, calm down."

"Calm down?! Stephanie, you're my girlfriend's best friend. We screwed around and I got you pregnant. How do you expect me to calm down?!" I started to yell.

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A MANWHORE THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPEN!" Stephanie yelled back, "But no matter what you do or where you go, this baby will be yours too, and I expect you to help me through this!"

Stephanie grabbed my hand, placing it on her stomach as she spoke.

I pulled my hand away, "I just need some time to think." I said, grabbing my jacket and leaving.

"I'll be back later." I said before leaving.

I drove down the street, seeing the windows fog up from the cold October air.

I passed by the bar, stopping for a minute to gaze at the outside.

It had been what seemed like forever since I had a drink...

And to be honest, right about now one sounded amazing.

I shoved my hand down my pocket, seeing how much money I had that Darcy had given me for the week.

50 bucks.

I had enough.

Just one drink wouldn't hurt right?

I felt the room starting to spin as I downed my 6th bottle of alcohol.

The muffled sounds of laughs and loud music filled my head as I stumbled from the bar stool.

I fished in my pocket for my keys as I drunkenly stumbled outside.

I slowly made it to my car, grabbing the door for support.

I felt my body sway back and forth, almost losing my footing a few times.

"I, I, I'mfine." I slurred to myself as I sat down in the drivers seat, attempting to put the keys in the ignition.

I finally succeeded, starting the car and driving off down the road.

Home was close, just a little drive wouldn't hurt anything.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

*This will be in Darcy's point of view (POV)*

I groaned, looking down at my phone.

"What, Josh?! I told you I wasn't coming into work this weekend!" I said into the phone, a hint of anger in my voice.

"Darcy, we need you." He said, his voice full of worry.

"What happened? Did something happen at the hospital? Are you guys okay?" I asked, starting to get worried.

"There was a bad car crash about an hour ago. I'm not really allowed to release the information. The hospital doesn't have enough staff and, to be honest, you're our best doctor." Josh finished saying and I sighed.

"How bad is it?" I asked, stepping outside.

"Darcy, it was bad. They're expecting one guy to make it by with just a few broken bones but...the other one...They've got him on morphine for the pain and oxygen because he's having a hard time breathing. He's gonna need operated on, that's for sure. Nurses are guessing he broke a rib or two and they punctured his lung. He's also lost and Is still losing a lot of blood." Josh explained.

It sounded like the hospital was a mess and I honestly had no choice but to go.

"Give me about 2 hours and I'll be there. Im in Los Angeles with my family. I'll be in San Diego as soon as possible." I said, hanging up the phone and grabbing my keys.

"Where are you going?" My mom asked as I walked out the door.

"They need me at the hospital, apparently there was a bad car accident." I explained, giving Danny a kiss goodbye.

"Sweetie, I'll be back tomorrow to get you, okay?"

"Okay, mommy..."

I gave him a hug, kissing the top of his head, "Be good for grandma, okay?"

He nodded as I walked out the door and to my car.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, starting the car.

I dialed the home phone number, calling James to tell him I would be home.

The phone rang 4 times before the answering machine kicked on with my voice.

I listened to the greeting, wondering where James was if he wasn't home.

"Hi James, it's me. I just wanted to tell you I would be home a little early...Well...not really home...They need me at the hospital. But I left Danny at my mom's, I'll drop by and say hi to you before I leave again. I love you, Bye." I ended the message, still wondering where he could be.

I stuck the phone in the console before speeding off down the road toward San Diego.

I quickly arrived at the hospital, noticing that Life Flight had landed and various ambulances were parked around the front of the hospital.

I grabbed my bag, running to the door, pushing through it.

"Darcy! Thank god you're here!" Various nurses said as I walked through the door.

I was handed a clipboard as I walked through the hall with a nurse, discussing what would need to be done.

"I'm not really allowed to release the information to you about the victims So we're calling them 1 and 2." The nurse explained and I nodded.

"We have 1 under control. He's only suffering from a broken leg and some scratches and bruises. But, 2 is going to need a lot of work..."

"How bad is he?" I asked.

"X Rays show he's broken 2 of his ribs and they're both puncturing his lung. We have him on oxygen to help the breathing." She explained.

"Conscious?"

"No."

"Prep him for surgery. I'll get it taken care of, be sure to give him pain killers and make sure he's asleep before I start working on him ." I ordered as the nurse nodded.

We split ways as I left to prepare the operating room.

I was dreading this. It sounded like this guy was in bad shape.

Plus I was still worrying about James. I just wish I knew where he was.

I took a deep breath in, clearing my mind.

Here we go.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

*Still Darcy's POV:) hope You're enjoying!*

*I thought I'd post another short chapter because next week will be crazy for me and I may not get to update:) enjoy!*

I always hated this part of my job.

I hated taking the risk of losing a patient on the operating table and having to deal with the fact that I took someone out of someone else's life.

And from what it sounded like, this patient would be hard to keep.

He was already barely alive and now they're going to put him under and attempt to send him through surgery?

It was a disaster waiting to happen...

I looked to Jen, my assistant, then down to the tools on the table.

"Do you know what happened to cause the accident?" I asked, double checking that I had sterilized the tools.

"I heard a drunk driver was involved but who knows." She said, throwing up her hands.

Suddenly, the patient was wheeled in and I felt a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Something just didn't feel right.

"Do you know what's going on here?" The nurse asked me as I put my surgical mask on.

I nodded, "Did you give him the anesthesia?"

She nodded back and I looked to Jen, "You ready?"

I picked up one of the sharp tools, the only sound filling the room being the slow beep of the heart monitor.

I laid the blade to his skin, preparing to cut when I looked to his face.

Fear and sickness flooded my entire body.

I dropped the blade, stumbling backwards.

I felt light headed.

"J-J-James?..." I stuttered out, feeling sick to my stomach.

I moved his hair from covering his face, starting to cry.

I shook my head, "I-I can't do this..."

Jen looked at me, surprised.

"Darcy, you don't have a choice! If you don't operate he's going to die!"

I started crying even harder.

"What if I kill him?! What if something goes wrong?! Jen, I'm the only family he has! He's the love of my life!" I explained.

"Darcy, you're the best doctor there is in San Diego. You can do this. It's up to you to save him." She said, not helping my nerves.

I had to do this. I had to save him.

I slowly started to operate, crying as I looked down on him.

As I began to finish up, fixing his ribs and Lung the best I could, I heard the heart monitor speed up.

"Darcy, watch it!" Jen said, messing with the machines while I started stitching James back up.

The beats became irregular before I heard a long monotone beep.

"We're losing him!"

I felt hot tears beginning to fall From my eyes as I pressed hard on his chest.

"Dammit James, come on, breathe!" I said, pressing as hard as I could on his chest without damaging the work I had just done.

I didn't need this.

Not now...


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

(Sorry I've been writing short and not updating daily! Guess what happened today?! President Obama came to town! That's where I've been all day and I'm super tired but I'm updating just for you guys:) feel loved! Haha)

*Still Darcy*

I came out of the operating room feeling exhausted and pale.

We had lost James a total of 5 times during surgery, but successfully bringing him back every time.

His heart was weak.

His lungs were weak.

His whole body was having a hard time recovering...

And seeing him like this, laying motionless in a hospital bed and hooked up to oxygen machines and monitors, It broke my heart into microscopic pieces.

I looked down on him laying in the bed.

He was shivering, obviously cold.

I rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him before pulling the blanket up close to his face.

He nuzzled into the blanket, stopping his shivering almost instantly.

I grasped onto his hand, feeling tears start to fall when he didn't grasp my hand back.

I felt my heart break even more because I knew at that moment he had no idea I was even beside him...

Why did this have to happen to James?

Why couldn't it have been me?

I sat beside the bed, crying and rubbing his hand. I kept asking "Why was it you and not me..."

He obviously couldn't answer, but I wish someone could've.

James had been doing so well dealing with his addictions and now this happened...

I heard footsteps enter the room and I saw Stephanie standing in the doorway, tears welling up in her eyes.

She and James had grown closer lately and I couldn't help but question why..

"Darcy..." She started and I looked down to James, trying to hide my tears.

"I don't know if he's gonna make it, Stef..." I choked through my tears as she walked to my side.

She rubbed my back and I felt a few tears fall from her eyes and hit me.

James was honestly not good at all. I was worried. I didn't want to loose someone I cared so much for.

"Darcy?" Stephanie asked as I looked up at her.

"Yes?"

"Darcy, I need to talk to you...alone...soon." Stephanie said and I started to grow worried.

"We can go now." I said, kissing James on the cheek before following her out of the room.

"What's up?" I asked as we passed my desk. I grabbed a clipboard with James's information on it to read as Stephanie spoke.

"Darcy, I think I'm pregnant." She explained and I was caught off guard.

"What? With who?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

"That's the problem..."

"What problem?"

"Darcy...I, I can't tell you..."

"Stephanie please just tell me." I pleaded, stopping and turning to face her.

"I'm, I'm having a baby...with...with James..."


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Darcy, please! Just listen to me!" Stephanie begged, grabbing onto My arm.

I jerked it away, "No! Stephanie, you know my feelings for James! I've told you how much I care about him, and, and now you're telling me you two slept together?!" I started to yell, gaining looks from the other workers.

"It's not my fault, Darcy!" Stephanie said, trying to defend herself.

"Oh, really?" I said, sarcastically.

"Yes! It, it was all James!" She defended herself.

"Stephanie, I don't believe you!" I yelled.

"DARCY! I'm not lying! He, he was all over me!" Stephanie said.

I looked into her eyes, I didn't know of she was lying or not...

"James isn't like that..." I started to say.

"Yes he is! He, he practically raped me! I told him that we shouldn't have sex because I'm your best friend but he just looked at me and said 'Who said Darcy has to know?' He wouldn't let me leave! Believe me! I'm your best friend!" She said as silence fell between the two of us.

I felt hot tears begin to trickle down my cheeks and I didn't know whether to trust her or to tell her to leave and take her lies with her.

The vulnerable side of me began to show as I threw the clip board down on the desk and ran to the elevator, feeling more tears trickle down my face.

My brain told me it was true but my heart told me to trust James.

I knew that he loved me and would never force my best friend into sleeping with him, but my brain made my entire body second guess what it was thinking.

I Finally made it to my car, sitting down and slamming the door.

I let my emotions go as I sobbed uncontrollably into the steering wheel.

I didn't know how to feel, honestly.

I didn't know WHAT to feel.

I felt ashamed and broken...

I needed someone To talk to, someone to spend the night with me.

I also needed to go get Danny from my mom's.

I knew exactly who to call and I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Darcy?" The familiar voice asked on the other side of the line.

I collected myself, wiping my tears.

"Kendall?" I answered, happy to hear his voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Will you go get Danny with me?"

"Sure..."

"...And stay the night?"

There was a long pause before he agreed and I could feel him smiling into the phone.

I hung up with Kendall before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot to His house.

I pulled up to the mansion, honking the horn as Kendall walked outside.

He turned and locked the door before trotting down the steps and throwing his duffle bag in the back of the car.

He opened the passenger door, sitting down and kissing me on the cheek.

"What's the matter?" He asked, grasping my hand that laid on the gearshift.

I turned my head, looking into his eyes, "Stephanie's pregnant with, um, with James's baby..."

I fought back my tears as Kendall sighed.

"James is nothing but trouble, do you hear me?" He ordered as I looked down at my feet.

He put his hand on my face, forcing me to look at him.

"I said, do you hear me?! He never loved you and he never will." Kendall said before letting go of my face and grasping my hand as we started back Down the road to my mom's house to pick up Danny.

"But I have you tonight and that's all that matters." I said smiling as we stopped at a stop light.

I didn't need James, and his cheating ways, I just needed some space. If what Stephanie had said was true, if James really had forced her into sex and it wasn't the opposite way around, I decided I didn't want to see him for a while.

I needed my old family back...


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

*Im baaaaack! I was at Cedar Point this weekend for Halloweekends...I was chased out of a haunted house by a zombie...I then proceeded to scream for "Zom-B-Gon" while I was running out of the place xD Not even joking hahaha...So guys, guess what?! Someone different is going to be telling the story tonight! I think you've missed him and now he's back!:)*

*James's POV*

I blinked awake, letting the light flood my eyes. I slowly awoke, not knowing where I was or why I was here.

I heard soft sobs from beside the bed and I let my vision focus in to see Stephanie sitting in a chair with her head in her hands.

"Stephanie?" I questioned, my voice sounding raspy.

"James? Oh thank god! I thought you were gone forever!" Stephanie said, throwing her arms around me and crying.

"Where am I?" I questioned, looking around the room.

"The hospital."

I winced in pain as I tried to move in the bed and I glanced down through the fabric at my chest, seeing stitches and gauze.

I gasped at the sight, looking at Stephanie.

"What the hell happened to me?!" I demanded.

"James calm down. You were in a car accident..." She began to explain as I frantically looked around the room.

"Where's Darcy?!" I asked with concern, hearing the beeping of the heart monitor grow faster.

"James, you need to calm down. You're going to die." Stephanie explained, trying to comfort me.

"I want Darcy! Where is she?!" I asked frantically.

"James...James, Darcy doesn't want to see you anymore..." Stephanie said, raising her voice a little.

"W-what?..." I questioned, feeling my heart completely sink.

"She told me, James...She doesn't love you anymore..." She said as I felt my body lean back on the bed.

"She, she doesn't?..." I stuttered, not believing what I was hearing.

"She said she hopes you never come back, she's with Kendall again now...You could die and she wouldn't care...James, she told me so..." Stephanie rubbed my shoulder as I sat staring off into space.

"She wants me to die?..." I questioned, feeling a tear run down my cheek.

"That's what I was told by her..." Stephanie explained.

I continued to stare off into space, thinking about Darcy.

The thoughts brought tears to my eyes as the same line repeated in my head...

"You could die and she wouldn't even care."

I asked Stephanie if Darcy had found out about the baby and she nodded.

"You could die and she wouldn't even care."

The phrase repeated like a broken record, sending sharp pains through my heart every single time.

I went back to staring into space as Stephanie leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.

"You have me and the baby now, James, it's okay." She said as she placed my hand on her slowly growing stomach where my baby was kept.

I still continued to stare off into space as she exited the room, letting my hand drop.

I was now alone, silence being the only thing to fill my presence.

I gazed out the door, noting that the nurses were laughing at the desk and not paying attention to their patients.

I moved the oxygen mask from my face, finding it already hard to breathe.

I tore off the heart monitor strips, unplugging the machine from the wall.

The nurses still weren't paying attention.

I began to remove the various needles and tubes from my arms and wrists, instantly feeling sick.

Still no stopping.

I reached for the paper clip that was laying on the table beside my bed as my body started to grow shaky.

I carefully unfolded the paper clip, mumbling to myself, "All I want is for Darcy to be happy...I guess I'll give her her wish..."

I hissed in pain as I began hacking at the skin on my wrists with the clip.

I watched the blood slowly surface, digging the metal even farther into my wrist.

I winced, blood running down my arm as I began to start working on the other one.

I repeated the same actions as I did with the other wrist, slowly slicing the skin at first as I watch the blood surface, then dig deeper, causing the red liquid to gush down my arm.

If Darcy wanted me to die I'd just speed up the process and do it myself...


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

*This chapter may be short because I wanted to post tomorrow but I won't get to because I'm going to a concert! Andy Grammer! You guys all owe him a huge thanks...if he didn't exist then the song "Keep Your Head Up" wouldn't exist and that's where I got the inspiration for this story:) I hope you enjoy!*

*I'd also like to say that I cried writing this chapter and I honestly have no idea why xD*

*This chapter will be Darcy's POV*

It felt right kissing Kendall but wrong all at the same time.

James had told Stephanie though that he didn't love me anymore, what was I supposed to feel?

I heard my phone ringing on the bedside table and I reached for it.

"Hello?" I answered, Kendall still gently kissing my neck.

It was the hospital and I grew worried.

"Darcy, we need you. James was moved to the ICU." Jen, my assistant, explained.

I pushed Kendall off of me.

"What do you mean they moved him to the ICU?" I questioned.

"Darcy, I don't wanna have to tell you this over the phone, can you please just come down?" She asked, sounding worried, "He's on suicide watch."

I felt my heart drop completely as I hung the phone up.

James had tried to kill himself and I felt like it was all my fault.

I wasn't there when he woke up. He was probably scared and confused, not knowing what had happened.

I jumped up out of bed, pulling on some clean clothes.

Kendal sighed, "Where are you going? I thought I told you to forget about James?"

I gave him a look, "James is dying. I'm his doctor. I have to go help him."

I grabbed my purse before running out the door and getting into my car.

I quickly made it to the hospital, rushing up the elevator as fast ad I could.

I dodged people and patients as I ran through the halls before coming to James's new room.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him.

His wrists were bandaged tightly, the red liquid seeping and visible through the gauze.

I felt myself begin to cry as I walked to his side.

His eyes were barely open and I was sure a goodbye would be coming to separate us in a few days, quite possibly maybe even hours.

"James, why?" I asked, feeling the bandages.

"I tried. I'm sorry." He replied, his voice barely there and raspy.

"You tried? What do you mean?" I asked, taking his hand but he pulled it away.

"I know you want me to die. It's one less patient." He replied coldly and I felt my heart break.

"James, don't talk like that." I said, looking Into his half opened eyes.

The beautiful hazel color was still visible in them and I cherished the sight, not knowing how much longer I would have until they were taken away from me.

"Darcy, I don't want to die anymore." James said, "I want to stay here, for Danny, for my baby..."

"James, I can't promise you anything." I said and hearing the soda leave my lips made reality sink in and I wanted to heal him completely.

"Darcy, I'm tired..." James said as his eyes started to close.

I felt my body grow shaky.

Was this it? Or was he just going to sleep?

"Go to sleep." I said, trying to comfort him.

I kissed his forehead before his eyes closed and he fell into a very deep sleep.

"Goodnight, James." I said softly, kissing his cheek.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

*THE ANDY GRAMMER CONCERT WAS AMAZING! I bought a bracelet and it says "Keep You Head Up"...ironic, right? Hahaha enough of my useless talk that no one reads...SHORT CHAPTER I KNOW! I'll try to post a long one Saturday. I love you all do much. If you review you instantly become my best friend:)*

I had been counting.

It had been two months.

Two months since I told James goodnight.

Two months since I had watched him smile or laugh or respond to any activity in the world.

Now the only presence that filled the hospital room was silence.

A haunting silence.

I knew the end was near, I just didn't want to accept it.

"Darcy?" I heard Stephanie's voice quietly ask at the doorway of James's hospital room.

I looked to her and she smiled a small smile.

It was her three month check up for the baby and she was already starting to show the iconic bump.

I stood up from the chair, bushing James's hair from his closed eyes before I left, watching him breathe at an unhealthy slow pace.

I sighed as I followed Stephanie down the hall.

"Are you ready?" I asked as I prepared my equipment in the ultrasound room.

She nodded with excitement.

"Will I know if it's a boy or a girl this time?" She asked, rubbing the small bump.

"Possibly." I said, running the gel onto her.

I fiddled around with the machine, finally finding the baby.

Ultrasounds were getting harder and harder to do for reasons.

Reasons that depressed me even more than what I already was.

I had found out about a month ago that I wouldn't be able to have any more children due to complications in my body.

I wanted to cry thinking about it but I remained strong.

I smiled at the screen, a little in shock about what I was reading.

"What? Is everything okay?" Stephanie asked frantically.

"Would you like to know if it's a boy or a girl?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"Of course!" She exclaimed and I turned the monitor to her face.

"Here, Stephanie, is your baby girl!" I said, seeing the excited feelings in her face.

"A girl? I'm having a girl?" She asked, starting to cry.

I felt a tear trickle down my face as well.

I was thinking about James.

He was going to be a father.

He would be so proud of his little girl and I prayed silently that he would hold on Long enough For her to be born.

"What would James say?..." Stephanie asked, sighing and touching the screen.

"He would be crying tears of joy, Stef, trust me." I said, wiping my own eyes.

I helped her up from the table as we began to walk back to James's room.

I felt myself being pushed around as a few nurses pushed past me, one grabbing my arm.

"What's going on? What's happening?" I asked as I was being ignored and pulled into room 313.

I swallowed hard.

James's room.

I tried to push through the nurses and assistants to see what was happening while also trying to control my emotions.

"What's wrong?!" I yelled at Jen as she entered the room.

"It's the monitors at the desk." She replied and I looked at her confused.

"Darcy, James's EKG flatlined..."


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

*Keep reviewing! I've got the end to this figured out, I just need to fill in with some marshmallow fluff In the middle! :) thanks so much to my dedicated readers/reviewers! Means a lot to me!*

I laid on the kitchen floor, staring up at the ceiling.

I didn't know what else to do at this point.

This wasn't happening. It couldn't be.

I looked beside me, seeing James's jacket laying on the floor through my heavy tears.

I pulled it close to me, breathing in the scent of it.

It smelled of his cologne and the occasional cigarette that he would smoke once a week.

It was the greatest smell ever and I couldn't hold it close enough to my heart as I began to sob more.

"Mommy, what's happening?" Danny asked me as he walked into the kitchen and all I could do was grip onto the jacket tighter and cry.

"Why did this have to happen?!" I yelled, crying and beginning to feel sick.

I heard my phone ring for the millionth time and I still ignored it.

It was Jen and I knew she was wondering if I was okay.

After hearing a nurse utter the words, "Darcy, we've tried everything...I'm...I'm sorry." I ran from the room.

The entire world seemed to blur together and I didn't know what was real and what wasn't.

James had died exactly 18 minutes ago and my life was over...

Danny sat down beside me, rubbing my back as he tried to comfort me.

"Mommy, please tell me what's wrong. Where's Jays? Do you want me to call him?" He asked and I only cried harder at the fact that he didn't know what had just happened.

"No. Danny." I said, trying to sit up,

I felt tears pour out of my eyes as I continued to grasp the jacket.

"Mommy, where's Jays?"

"Danny, he's...he's better now...He's not suffering anymore..." I trailed off, wrapping my arms around my son as I continued to cry.

"Wait...did he..." Danny began to ask and I nodded yes.

I looked into his soft green eyes, seeing tears begin to form and fall down his cheeks.

I wrapped him in a tight hug, "Come on, buddy, don't cry. James wouldn't want you to cry."

I was trying to comfort both of us though nothing was working.

I heard my phone begin to ring again and I reached for it on the counter.

I found it, answering it.

"Hey, Jen." I said, sniffling and wiping stray tears.

"Darcy, thank god you finally answered!"

"What? What's going on?"

"You've gotta come back...you won't believe this..." Jen said before hanging up.


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

I hung up the phone with Jen after she wouldn't tell me the news from the hospital and honestly I didn't want to go back there...

I sank down into the plush leather couch, yet again letting tears fall from my eyes as I turned the television on.

It seemed to be that every TV channel was speaking of one topic:

"Popstar James Diamond, previously a member of the teen band Big Time Rush, was pronounced dead tonight after being involved in a horrible car wreck a few months ago."

I drew my knees to my chest, trying to block out what I was hearing.

Suddenly, I heard loud beatings against my front door and I jumped, startled.

I slowly pulled myself up from the couch, staggering over to the door. My body felt heavy and I was full of depression.

I opened the door, seeing who it was.

"Carlos?" I asked, looking at the Latino boy who I hadn't seen in close to 3 years.

He was holding his head low, rubbing the back of his neck.

He lifted his head, revealing his red puffy eyes as streams of water flowed down his cheeks.

"Darcy, is, is it true?" He asked as I nodded and I opened my arms.

We stood in the doorway, not wanting to let each other go.

"Carlos, I didn't even get to say goodbye." I said into his shoulder.

"Neither did I..." He trailed off as I pulled away from the hug, "Let's, let's go back together..."

I looked into his eyes, shaking my head.

"No, Carlos, I'm not going back there." I said, turning away.

"You can't run from this." He said, grabbing my wrists as I tired to struggle from his grasp.

"Carlos, please don't make me." I begged.

"Please." He said, looking into my eyes, tears still falling down his cheeks.

"You guys didn't care about James when he was alive and in need, why care about him when he's dead?" I asked, hate in my voice.

I could tell my words had hurt Carlos and I felt horrible for saying what I did.

"I tried, Darcy! I really tried! Management wouldn't let me go help him! Do you know how hard it is to pass your best friend, a person who's been hurt, on the street and not be able to do anything? It's horrible." Carlos said, letting his emotions show.

I grasped onto his hand, grabbing my keys from the counter.

"Come on, let's go." I sighed.

I pulled into my parking space at the hospital as Carlos jumped out of the car.

I sighed, "You can do this, Darcy." I said to myself, unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the car door.

Suddenly, Carlos and I were bombarded with reporters, cameras and flashes and I became overwhelmed.

Carlos protectively held onto me as reporters began to yell questions at me.

"Darcy! Is it true that you were involved with James's death?!"

"Are you already over him?!"

"Are you and Carlos dating now?!"

"Wait, Carlos! You two are dating?!"

I started to cry uncontrollably.

"Make it stop!" I Yelled, trying to hide in Carlos's side.

He wrapped a protective arm around me as we quickly and safely made our way into the hospital.

I slowly made my way to the elevators, knowing this journey would be one I'd regret.

Carlos placed his Arm around my shoulder, "We can do this."

I smiled a small smile at him as the doors opened and we ventured into the hallway.

A dim light was coming from James's room and I could hear muffled voices talking.

We approached the door and I stopped, in shock.

"Darcy?.." I heard a familiar weak voice say as I ran into the room.

"James!"


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 **

*James's POV this chapter!:) I'm thinking since this story's end is growing closer and closer (Its honestly not that close hahaha) I think I'll start to write another story I've been thinking of...it's a Kendall story and it's a paranormal Type story. The title is going to be "I Remember It All Too Well".Getting everyone in the Halloween mood:) I think you guys will like it...and I seriously was not expecting all the love that I'm getting for this story. You guys seriously make my day and i smile every time when I check my email and have like 10 reviews a day for it, thank you so so so much!*

Darcy ran to my bedside, wrapping her arms around me and beginning to cry.

I winced in pain but didn't want her to let go.

"I thought you were dead..." Darcy trailed off and hugged me tighter, "All the news stations are saying you're dead."

"I technically was...but, Jen said that she wasn't going to let me leave that easily." I smiled up at Darcy's friend who was fixing the IV's.

"Please never ever leave me like that again. I felt like I was living in hell." Darcy said, acting as if she couldn't hold me close enough.

"I'm here now. I'll always be." I replied, holding her close.

I looked up, seeing Carlos standing at the foot of my bed as Darcy pulled out of the hug.

He smiled a little, waving.

"Hey James..." He said, sitting on the edge of My bed.

I didn't really know what to say. Carlos had been my best friend and after everything had happened he had deserted me.

I remember sitting on the curb and watching him pass with Logan and Kendall. None of them would even acknowledge me.

"James, I know times have been rough-" Carlos started but I cut him off.

"Really, Carlos? 'Times have been rough' you don't even know how horrible life has been for me!" I started to yell, sitting up in bed.

"You were my best friend! You don't think I wanted to help you?! I stood behind you when they were kicking you out of the band! I tried to save your job!" Carlos yelled back, which he rarely did.

I heard footsteps near the door and I looked up to see Kendall stand there.

"Darcy, I thought I'd come to comfort you..." He looked to me, "I thought you were gone, Diamond." He added, hate in his voice.

"I was for 20 minutes, knight." I responded.

"You should've stayed like that." Kendall hissed back, hate coating his voice.

"Kendall, stop." Darcy cut in, pushing him back a little.

"What? We all know it's true."

"Kendall.."

"No one wants you here, James. Just go overdose on some cocaine like you should've done in the first place. Then you could've died in a alley alone and no one would've cared." Kendall said and honestly his words were the most hurtful phrases I'd ever heard.

I was never one to show my emotions, especially around people, but I couldn't hold it in much longer.

His words really hurt and I looked down at my cut wrists, wishing everyone would be out of the room so I could attempt to finish off what little life I had left...

"Awww," Kendall taunted in a baby voice, "Is little James gonna cry?"

I felt a few tears fall from my eyes as I quickly wiped them away.

"No."

"I think you are." Kendall taunted.

"Kendall, shut up." Darcy finally said.

I let my head hang low and sunk down in bed.

My lungs were hurting and I was starting to have a hard time breathing. I reached for an oxygen mask, closing my eyes.

"Do everyone a favor, Kendall, and get the hell out." Darcy said as she sat beside my bed and began to rub my arm.

"There would be one less useless douche bag in the world." Kendall said before leaving and I felt a few more tears escape my eyes.

"James don't listen to him." Carlos said but I didn't answer and only turned my head so they couldn't see me cry.

Suddenly, I heard Stephanie scream out in pain from the chair across the room.

"Stef? What's wrong?" Darcy asked, running to her side.

I tried to sit up and look but I was feeling weak.

"I, I think it's something with the baby!"


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

I watched Darcy through the door frantically running back and forth down the halls.

I wanted to know what was wrong with my baby.

"Darcy!" I called as she ran by the door and she stopped.

"Yeah, James?" She answered sounding tired.

"What's happening? Is Stephanie okay? Is the baby okay?"

"She could be better...I read the ultrasounds wrong." Darcy simply said before running out of the room.

"Wait! Darcy! Let me go with you!" I said, reaching for her but she was already gone.

"No, James, it's to dangerous for you to get up." She yelled back.

I huffed.

I could do this. I could get up and prove her wrong.

I sat up in bed, wincing at the pain in my chest.

I slowly swung my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up.

The pain was unreal but I wanted to see Stephanie.

I took a few steps, starting to feel dizzy as I lost my footing.

I laid on the floor, looking up at the bright lights on the ceiling.

I groaned in pain and I could feel a few of the stitches in my skin pop.

I grabbed at my chest, wanting the pain to stop as I felt some blood seeping through the fabric of my shirt.

I heard footsteps near the door and I looked over to see Kendall's feet.

"Have you seen Darcy?" He asked, not caring about how in pain I was.

I groaned, "Kendall, please help me."

"Why should I help you?" He asked, "When you decided to ruin your life you ruined all of our lives."

"Kendall please." I groaned, holding onto my chest.

"No, James, you can suffer like we all did when you left. You ruined all of our chances because you put a bad label on our band." He said with hatred.

I closed my eyes and turned my head still groaning in pain.

"Bye, James." Kendall said before walking away.

"DARCY!" I started to yell, not knowing where she was.

Even yelling was painful.

"DARCY!" I yelled again, beginning to cry because the pain was unbearable.

Darcy came rushing into the room, gasping.

"JAMES! What the hell?!" She said, trying to help me up.

I took my hand from my chest revealing my blood covered shirt as she got me back into bed.

"Shit..." Darcy mumbled when she saw the damage I had done.

"I just wanted to see Stephanie." I said, sadly.

"James you can't be doing this." She said, lifting my shirt up to fix the damage.

"Is my baby okay?" I asked weakly.

Darcy sighed, "If by 'baby' you mean 'babIES' then yes."

I looked up at her, "There's, there's more than one?"

"Twins." She replied, wrapping some gauze around me.

"Is everything okay?"

"Not really. They decided come to the world...4 months early." Darcy said, giving me a look.

"W-what?" I asked, worried.

"They're fine, James." Darcy said, pulling my shirt back down.

"What about Stephanie?" I asked as Darcy stood up and turned away.

"Darcy, What about Stephanie?!" I demanded, grabbing her arm.

"James, James we lost her during childbirth..." Darcy said as I let go of her arm.

"Oh my god." I said, not knowing what else to say, "Can, can I see them?"

Darcy sighed, "Let me go get a wheelchair."


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

*Guys, the end to this story is getting really close...:( I'm guessing the next chapter or two or three or four will wrap things up:) I hope you continue to follow me as an author and you enjoy my other stories. Can't thank you enough:) Also my new story I'm going to be posting was going to be a Kendall story but it's turned into a James one. I guess I'm just a dedicated James stayer xD*

I held my daughter in my arms, not believing that she was mine.

I looked up to Darcy, "She's so beautiful...and little."

"She's all yours." Darcy said, ruffling up my hair, "The other little girl is too."

I looked down at the little girl staring up at me and I felt my eyes start to fill with tears.

"What are you going to name her, daddy Diamond?"

I looked down at her again, deciding on the perfect name.

"Peyton." I said, looking up to Darcy as I handed Peyton back to her.

"Beautiful little Peyton." Darcy said with a smile as she picked up the other baby and handed her to me.

I ran my finger over her soft skin.

"She looks just like you." Darcy smiled and rubbed my arm, "We almost lost her but, I think all she needed was to see her daddy." She added as the little girl looked up to me with her big brown eyes.

"Mia. I want her name to be Mia." I said, still looking at the tiny girl.

Darcy smiled, taking her from me.

I sat back in the wheelchair, rubbing my chest and groaning a little.

"You okay?" Darcy asked, pushing me out of the room and back down the hallway.

"My body just hurts." I simply said, "And I'm tired."

"Well, when we get back to your room I'm going to check your stitches and if they look okay I'm taking you home tonight to get some good sleep." She explained and I got really excited.

After Successfully getting back in bed and catching my breath, Darcy pulled my shirt up, examining the gauze she had wrapped around my body.

She smiled at me.

"There are going to be rules." She said, laughing when I got overly excited about going home.

"Yes, mom." I said, laughing.

"I'm being serious, James. If I EVER catch you getting high again I WILL put you back out on the street, and if you ever drink and drive again I'll throw you out to the street." She smirked and helped me out of bed, "And I have to monitor you 24/7 so if I ever catch you sleeping in a different bed besides mine, we're going to have a problem."

I smirked back at her, "I'll try to follow the rules."

"Do you want a wheelchair?" Darcy asked as I used her for support. I felt bad leaning on her because I was so much bigger than her but she didn't seem to care.

"No. I've been down for 3 months. I'm going to walk out of here." I said, motivated as I started to take a few steps.

The pain shot through my body and every scratch and bruise from the accident because clear to me.

"Shit." I groaned.

"James, I can go get you a-"

"No, Darcy, I'm going to walk out of here."

We slowly and finally made our way to the front door and I pushed it open.

Suddenly, reporters swarmed Darcy and I, asking questions and snapping our picture.

"JAMES IS OKAY!" Many of them shouted along with their questions.

I held my chest, pain returning to my body but I couldn't let Darcy see that I was in pain. I just wanted to go home.

I finally made it through the crowd of people and to the car, sitting down.

My chest was killing me and I leaned my head against the window, finding it hard to breathe.

"James?" Darcy asked, starting the car, "Are you okay?"

"Perfect..." I lied, grasping and holding onto my chest as we started to make our way back to the apartment.


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

*Well, guys, you've made it! This is it! Chapter 26! The chapter to end it all! :) after this I'll be posting some other stuff related to this story along with some after thoughts to get your guys's opinions! I usually post the playlist of music I've created for my stories so i'll do that as well, almost like a soundtrack:) So stay tuned for all of that pizzaz. Again, thank you so much for deciding to read this and take a chance on my craziness xD my twitter is laughoutloud_13 by the way if you guys wanna chat with me! I get bored...hahaha I'm so alone...*

I laid down across my bed, "Damn." I mumbled.

I honestly shouldn't have left the hospital. My chest was killing me and I pulled my shirt off to examine the wound.

I leaned back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

I thought of something that I had put on hold due to my health. I had been thinking about it all day when Darcy told me I could go home.

I pulled myself off of the bed and walked over to the Chest of drawers. I pulled out the tiny black box I had hid in the bottom of the top drawer. I opened the box, revealing the beautiful sparkling diamond ring.

I smiled to myself, tonight was the night.

I just knew that Darcy was the one. She was healing the old broken me and polishing the good that was underneath. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

"James?" Darcy called as she walked up the steps and I shoved the box in my pants pocket.

"In here! Hey, can you come here a minute?" I asked, sitting on the bed.

"What's wrong?" She asked, walking toward me.

"I think I dropped something behind the bed, can you look?" I said, standing up.

Darcy leaned over the bed as I kneeled down in front of her, fishing for the box in my pocket.

"James, I don't see anything." She said, turning around to face me. "...James, what are you?-Oh my god." She finished as I revealed the ring box.

Darcy gasped, covering her mouth.

"Darcy, I know that we've only known each other for a few months but you've helped me so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" I asked, revealing the ring.

Darcy gasped again, looking at me and starting to cry, "Of course, James!"

She jumped up, kissing me quickly on the lips and wrapping her arms around her neck.

We looked into each others eyes lustfully as Darcy leaned in to kiss me again. This time the kiss was laced with passion and desire and despite the pains in my chest I wanted this more than anything.

Darcy deepened the kiss, intertwining her fingers in my hair as I moved my hands to the small of her back.

I backed her up against the bed, falling onto the mattress with ease and I groaned.

"You okay, sweetie?" Darcy asked, looking into my eyes.

"I just hurt. I'll be fine." I assured her as she crashed her lips back into mine.

She slowly worked at my shirt, pulling it up over my head and I groaned some more, partially for pain and partially for desire.

I kissed down from her lips down to her neck, wanting more.

I felt her hands slowly creep down my chest, working at the buckle on my belt and the button on my pants.

I let my head fall back as I heard Darcy's voice.

"James? James, wake up."

I looked up at her, confused.

"Wake up?"

"James, wake up." She repeated, her voice seeming to change a little.

"Maybe he's dead." I could hear a voice that sounded like Carlos's, "Can I slap him?!"

"James, wake up." Darcy voice had changed and her image was starting to blur.

I tried to grasp onto the image but like a cloud of dust it faded, darkness replacing what was.

"James, wake up." Kendall's voice called as I felt someone slightly tapping my cheek.

I slowly blinked my eyes open, staring up at a light.

"Dude, are you okay?" Logan asked as I sat up, rubbing the back of my head.

"What happened? Where am I?" I asked, confused as I looked up at my 3 friends surrounding me along with Gustavo and Kelly.

"You're at Rocque Records. We were rehearsing and you took a nasty fall. You knocked yourself out cold when you hit your head on that amp back there." Kendall explained and I looked around the room.

I looked down at my wrists, expecting to find the scars from my cutting but there was nothing there and the skin was flawless.

"Where's Darcy?" I asked, looking at my confused friends.

"Who the hell is Darcy?" Logan asked, helping me stand up.

"Darcy. She helped me. Why am I even still here? I was fired, wasn't I?" I tried to explain my life to them.

"James, why would you be fired?..." Carlos asked, confused.

"I have a drug problem! Look! I've got..." I looked down at my arms to show them the needle marks, but none were there. "It was here. I know it." I said, questioning what was happening.

It all couldn't have been a dream, right? It was to real.

"No! Look! I was in a car accident! I had surgery just the other day! I still have the marks!" I said, lifting up my shirt to show them and I wondered why they were staring at me like I was crazy.

"James, there's nothing there..." Logan said, grabbing my arm to make me sit down.

"You hit your head pretty hard, we almost called an ambulance to pick you up if you wouldn't have woken up. We've been trying to wake you up for an hour." Kelly explained and I couldn't believe this was happening.

"It was all so real...Mia and Peyton...Darcy...Danny. They were all so real." I said, "Kendall was horrible. I was living on the street. I was a drug addict. It was so real."

I stood up, "I'm going for a walk. I'll meet you guys back at the Palmwoods."

"James, you shouldn't be alone, you were just unconscious for an hour." Logan advised but I ignored him, walking out the door.

I walked down the sidewalk, not believing that I had dreamed all that had just happened. It was almost impossible.

I looked down at my feet as I walked, feeling myself run into someone, sending papers and coffee flying everywhere.

"I'm so so so sorry." I heard a voice say and I looked up to see a girl kneeling down to get her papers that I was helping pick up.

She seemed familiar.

"It's my fault, life is crazy right now, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said, glancing down at a paper. "Are you a nurse?" I noted the contents of the papers.

"Doctor, actually." She said as we both stood up and I extended my hand.

"I'm James." I said as she smiled and shook my hand.

"I'm Darcy, it's nice to meet you." She said and I looked at her in shock.

"I'm sorry, did you say your name was Darcy?" I asked, pulling my hand away.

"Why, is there a problem?" She asked, looking worried.

"It's just. I, um, it's hard to explain...there's no problem." I said, shaking my head.

"Oh, well, that's good..." She said as we started to walk our separate ways.

"Hey! James?!" I heard her call as I turned around, walking back to her.

"Do you wanna, like, go get some coffee with me?" Darcy asked, pointing to the coffee shop down the street.

I smiled.

"I'd love to." I said, taking her hand in mine as we walked down the sidewalk.

THE END.


	28. Story Soundtrack

**Story Soundtrack:**

Keep Your Head Up, James Diamond

1.) Keep Your Head Up - Andy Grammer

2.) Carry On - Fun. (If you haven't heard this song go listen to it! Gahhhh! It's amazing.)

3.) The Lost Get Found - Britt Nicole

4.) It's A Good Thing - Jaron And The Long Road To Love

5.) Oath - Cher Lloyd (This song has seriously like no relation to the story...but I feel like the pre chorus and the chorus kinda describe James and Darcy's relationship :) )

6.) Drowning - Backstreet Boys (Just wanted to say that if you haven't heard this song go listen to it...it's so amazing.)

7.) Fall - Justin Bieber

8.) Biggest Man in Los Angeles - Andy Grammer (I can just see if like this story was a movie this being the song for the opening credits. It's all about performing on the streets of LA for money)

9.) Why Don't You Love Me - Hot Chelle Rae (Feat. Demi Lovato)

10.) End Up Here - Cher Lloyd

11.) Overboard - Justin Bieber (Defiantly a song to relate like 100% to this story...)

12.) Beautiful People - Cher Lloyd

13.) Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Whitney Houston

14.) Fix A Heart - Demi Lovato

15.) I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift (Relates to when Darcy and James fight...but they'll always love each other:))

16.) Just Like A Pill - P!nk

17.) Ours - Taylor Swift

18.) All Kinds Of Wrong - Miranda Cosgrove

19.) Mine - Taylor Swift (Can't you just see this being like the main theme for this if it was a movie?! I can...haha)

20.) Easy - Rascal Flatts (Feat. Natasha Bedingfield)

21.) Thinking Of You - Katy Perry (For those Stephanie & James moments...)

22.) This Kiss - Carly Rae Jepsen (Stephanie & James's little secret relationship)

23.) Mean - P!nk

24.) Angel - Cody Simpson

25.) Oh No! - Marina & The Diamonds (I feel like this is almost like James's view on the world before meeting Darcy...I don't know...I just really like this song hahaha)

26.) Try - P!nk (Defiantly another main theme of the story)

27.) Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

28.) Your Heart Is A Muscle - Carly Rae Jepsen

29.) Bad Day - Daniel Powter

30.) Sleepless - The Strive (Change a few words and this fits perfectly for when James is struggling with his health)

31.) The One - Backstreet Boys

32.) Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift

33.) Payphone - Maroon 5

34.) Bless The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

35.) Down to Earth - Justin Bieber (Freaking Love this song.)

36.) I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

37.) Red - Taylor Swift


	29. Author Notes

**Author Notes:**

This is the final thing I usually type at the end of a story!

It's my place to talk instead of the characters!

Again, thank you for all the reviews and for reading this story! Especially to my loyal readers like Mini Maslow, Californiagirl26, paulag.2011, Layra, AkireAlev, jenizzleoffdachain and AllieJay21

I hope you went and listened to some of those songs on the track list. I always listened to them when I wrote because they related to the story.

I've been hearing that you guys liked "Keep Your Head Up, James Diamond" and I thought of maybe doing a few little spin off one shots for it. Even though you guys know that James was just hallucinating and dreaming because he hit his head and none of it was real, maybe we could go back into the dream and write a few stories of him and Peyton and Mia, along with Darcy and Danny. Thoughts? Opinions? Ideas for stories? I like to hear from you guys and what YOU want to read:)

Also as a last note I have a question for anyone who reads this...

I am currently working on an idea or a new James story and it's a paranormal type story but it's also a very emotional and romantic story.

I have a few main ideas for it and I want the story to work but I'm going to need a little help.

I would like to have a co writer for it, would you guys be willing to submit me a story as a sample of your writing of you wish to be a co writer?

I've done a co written story before and the way we set it up was through our twitter DM's and we made it like we were actually the characters talking to each other and the story was formed! I would Give you credit as a writer and I would type up our story and post it to this profile. I thought maybe if you have a twitter and want to use it like that DM thing we could or we could even do it through PM's on here.

If anyone is interested in a position as a co writer for "I Remember It All Too Well." please message me with a sample story (For a sample of how you write) by November 16th

I hope to get some responses to this:) thank you all so much!

Peace and much love 3 :)

- Haley


	30. Last Update

**Just want to say for those of you who don't get updates for all my stories, I started a sequel to this! It's called "Flashbacks and Echoes".:)**


End file.
